1. When living in a city with a violent crime per 1,000 of 14.6, it doesn’t take long to learn the differences between fire, police, and ambulance sirens. If you’re watching The Wire, though, it is difficult to figure out whether or not said sirens are coming from outside of your window or the TV.
2. It’s always good to live next to a hospital, just in case you need any duct tape.
3. If you’re looking for a good mint julip, Justin Sirois is your man. He’s basically the Robin Leech of these parts. If Robin Leech wore cowboy boots, that is. And listened to hardcore.
4. If you want to know whether or not your dog is fat, ask him to climb three flights of stairs. He’ll let you know immediately afterwards.
5. If participating in a Show + Tell, always sit next to the old guy who seems to be smiling too much. He’s going to be a little loud, but he’s going to ask really ridiculous questions about your chromosomes.
Bonus: There’s no reason to say goodbye to the thing you aren’t leaving.
